Hebrew Word Study – Contentious – Midinim    Mem Daleth Yod Nun Mem

Proverbs 21:9: “[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a contentious woman in a wide house.”

Up until now, I have been addressing prayer as something personal. I believe Scripture teaches that prayer is a family adventure as well. I would use Proverbs 21:9 as my text for this theory.

I have always been bothered by this verse, well not so much the verse but by the preachers and teachers who mention this verse. Generally, these preachers and teachers are male and bring it up to elicit a laugh which usually comes from the men and a few good-natured women. 

Whenever I heard this verse, even as a child, I could not help but wonder why it was the women who got the bum rap. All the women I knew in my life as a child, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and cousins were never brawling or contentious to my observation.  Besides after walking this earth now for these many years, I’ve met plenty of men who could be just as brawling and contentious as any woman.  Having been a pastor and involved in some pastoral counseling I often found that if a woman was contentious, it was usually the husband’s fault for neglecting her.  Many times, I didn’t blame the woman for being contentious, she deserved better treatment and attention than she was getting. 

The other thing that bothers me about this verse is that the wisest man who ever lived advises a husband to cower in a corner when his wife goes on a rampage. That does not sound like very wise advice to me, nor something that the God I love would recommend. 

There are alternatives to translating this verse that fit more of God’s style.  Let me give you one that I like.  The verse started off with “It is better.”  The word here in Hebrew is tov which means good but also means to be in harmony.  It is more in harmony for a man to dwell in the corner of a housetop.  For one thing, the preposition is not “in” but ‘al which means to be above, among, or beside. The word corner is panah which in its Semitic root is a word used for a bulwark, tower, battlement, or support.  I like the word support.  It is more in harmony for a man to support his wife in a battlement gag.  The word gag comes from the root word ga’al. Sure, it means a roof or housetop which is supported by a panah.  There is, however, a double meaning here that the Hebrews would easily pick up that we in the 21st Century would not. The Hebrews were more familiar with this word as being used in the tabernacle for the Altar of Incense. The Altar of Incense was where one would burn incense to pray intercessory prayers, that is to offer prayer support for another.  Perhaps there is the idea of seeking shelter but this is seeking the shelter of intercessory prayer to support one’s wife in prayer.  But this is also good advice for a woman whose husband gets argumentative or contentious. So why is the woman singled out?

The word contentious or brawling is midinim which is also a word used for someone who is very competitive, he or she just cannot stand to lose in any encounter.  Here is why the woman is being singled out as a man is considered the leader of the household, although equal to his wife, you still need someone who is in charge.  I believe this verse is saying that if the wife is in disagreement, it is better not to enter into an argument but for the husband to support his wife’s feelings and concerns and go into intercessory prayer over the situation.  He is to be the leader or example of prayer in the house.

There is one other thing that is very interesting. The text uses the word chavar.  Many translations say to the associate, the above rendering is wide, and some translations just ignore this word. But this word is just too juicy to ignore.  It is a word used in the Garden of Eden in reference to the serpent who was called the chavar or the enchanter. You know there are some men who just love their wives so much that they can’t say no to them. They will give them everything they want wanting to please them and the wife plays on this being that seductive little kitten, maybe giving a little pout, turning her head away and the old boy gives in against his better judgment.  She has him eating out of her hand, she has chavar or enchanted him. 

I believe this verse is pointing the finger at men just as much as women.  Both should be careful and both should seek the gag, the Altar of Incense, and intercessory prayer and it should be the man who leads the prayer, before entering into any fight or using powers of manipulation. In other words, as prayer is the joining of oneself to God it is also meant to a joining of a husband, wife, and God together. A husband and wife who pray together will together join or attach themselves to God. 

Prayer even goes beyond a family exercise.  In Acts 2:42 we learn: “And they devoted themselves in the apostle’s doctrine and fellowship and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.” Fellowship with a community of believers is also a joining and attaching oneself, with others, and with God. 

Luke, who wrote the Book of Acts, was an extremely educated person.  He was of Greek origin and educated in the Hellenistic city of Antioch. He studied Greek philosophy, medicine, and art. Tradition holds he made paintings of Peter and Paul and was the founder of Christian iconography. So what amazes me about Acts 2:42 is that someone who is so steeped in the Greek culture and Greek language would write this verse in a very Aramaic style. In Greek as in English, we would write this passage as “And they devoted themselves in the apostle’s doctrine, fellowship, breaking of bread and in prayers.”  The Greek and English would not repeat the word “and.” We just stick a comma after each word in a series and stick the “and” at the end. In the Aramaic, as like the Hebrew, you use an “and” or a conjunction after each word in a series as Luke does here. Luke could very well have written the Book of Acts in Aramaic as he was addressing an Aramaic-speaking audience.

The word for fellowship in Hebrew is asephah and in the Aramaic it is shauteph. Both words are agricultural words used for the swarming of insects that would devour a crop.  Insects swarm for protection. When the Nile River in the Middle East would overflow, it would kill off a single fire ant. However, in times of flood thousands of fire ants link themselves together to form a raft. By doing this they would not drown as they would if they tried to navigate those waters on their own.  I believe that is why the Aramaic Bible, the Peshitta, uses the word shauteph for fellowship.

Throughout the history of the Jewish people, shauteph was their means of survival. When troubles came they would link up with each other, young and old, married and single, women and men and share each other’s burden, like those fire ants. They formed one massive family and together they were able to survive throughout a history of persecution.

Many Christians today are questioning why they should go to church. They listen to music that they really do not like, they hear sermons that they have heard all their lives and they just go through a door, sit down, get a little show, and get up and leave. Churches, in order to maintain their congregations seek to provide music that would attract the most people, they seek to give sermons that would appeal to a wide audience and they may have small group activities such as women or men-only Bible studies, children programs, singles only programs and teenage programs. Again, you come and go and never really develop an overall sense of community. 

But if persecution or trouble arises these separate little bands will discover their real reason for coming together, they will shauteph, join hands, link up with each other, young and old, male and female, singles and married, and form one large life raft so that no one person would flounder. It is then that they will discover what real fellowship means. They will not come together because they like certain music, they will not come together to play softball or have a potluck dinner, they will come together to survive and the one ingredient that brings them together is their mutual love for Jesus.  

I drove a woman in my disability bus to her church the other day where she met with a few other ladies to put together little toys for the children in their church to play with during the service. As we talked I learned she was a real born-again Christian who loved Jesus with all her heart. She then bemoaned the fact that her church was a mainline liberal church and her pastor did not even believe the Bible was inspired and questioned the deity of Jesus. Like the good Baptist that I am I asked her why she did not join a Bible-believing church. She then said that she had many friends in this church who also loved Jesus and when her husband passed away the church came together for her, supported her, and helped her through that difficult time. She said: “I could never leave them.”  Her faith in God is firm, but what she really needs is shauteph which she has found. 

Just as a husband and wife are joined together with God when they pray together, so too does a community of believers join themselves together with God when they pray together. There are times when prayer is personal practice with God, then there are times it is a family practice with God, and other times it is a community practice which brings all in unity with God, joining or attaching to God. Yet, when times of trouble come God does not expect us to stand alone. He has given us the ability of those fire ants to join or link ourselves together through prayer and create a raft to help us navigate the storms of life. 

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