Hebrew word study – stand – ‘amad  עמד Ayin Mem Daleth

Psalms 10:1 “Why do you stand far off, why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”

“What do people mean when they say: ‘I am not afraid of God because I know He is good?  Have they never been to a dentist?”   C.S. Lewis, “A Grief Observed.”

As I continue on my journey to the heart of God, I am becoming aware of a very painful understanding,  God does not love me on my terms, He loves me on His.  There is no saying to God: “If you really loved me you would…”   We all know that it is faith that pleases God (Hebrews 11:6), so what is faith but believing that when God does not fit our idea of what a loving God should be, we will still believe he loves us. 

C.S. Lewis wrote  “A Grief Observed” after his beloved wife died.  In the torment of his grief he describe how he came to God, knocked on His door pleading for help, but there was no answer.  In fact, he heard the door being latched on the other side and then heard it being bolted.  He saw the lights go out and he peered through the window, certain someone was home.   He felt like a little lost child in his grief.  He observes at one point: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”  Surely God would reach down to one of his grief-stricken, fearful little children?  But He didn’t. Where was that divine comforting presence, where was that warm soothing voice of God when he needed it most?   

Is there some clue buried in this cry of David, who also sought God in time of great need and it seemed as if God shut the door to His house and was hiding?   The word for stand is ta’amod which comes from the root word ’amad and is used by a servant who is standing by his master ready to meet his master’s every need.  Sometimes we get our roles a little reversed and God becomes our servant rather we His. We expect Him to be that faithful servant standing by our side to offer assistance in a moment’s notice. 

If we look at this word esoterically we find that God is ready to come to our site in a moment’s notice, but it is on His terms, not ours.  What are His terms?  Let’s examine the built-in commentary on the word ‘amad.  The first letter is Ayin which speaks to us of spiritual insight,  a deep examination into our own heart to understanding our relationship with God.  The is accompanied by the next letter the Mem which whispers the knowledge God has already given us. This is bringing to remembrance past victories, miracles, and the promises of His Word.   This leads us to the final letter the Daleth which is the door that opens for us to enter God’s comfort and ministry.  In a real sense, it is the door to His heart.  The key to opening this door to His heart is through the Ayin and the Mem, meditating on His promises, his revealed knowledge, and past faithfulness and believing that He will continue to be faithful.  

There are many words in the Hebrew for “stand.”  God gave David this word because hidden in this word, in the very first word of his complaint, he is given the answer to his question.  The moment he asks the question, God gave Him his answer.  He just had to sit down and think: “Why did I say ta’amod?”  Ta’amod is a clue or remez. For you see the word ta’amod is in an imperfect form, a future tense.  Yet, embedded in that word is something that is in a past tense.   David would then realize that the moment he asked the question: “Where are you,”  the moment he speaks that word  ‘amad – stand he had his answer.  Like C.S, Lewis David is standing at God’s door-knocking and he hears the door being lock, he would then know that the key to unlocking the door is ta’amod.”  God was not locking him out, he was only locking the door and giving him the key to open it so that he and only he could enter.  God locked the door so that none of those demons of fear, grief, and sorrow could enter into the house or heart of God.

Our idea of love is that if God really loved us He would instantly come to our aid and comfort us. Yet, God’s idea of love is that we use the key to His heart (meditation on his revealed knowledge and faith) to enter into His heart to find His comfort.  Once we enter His heart, we lock the door behind us and shut out all those other lovers of fear, grief and sorrow that pursue us and rest in the arms of our only true Lover.

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