Hebrew Word Study – Reuben – ראובן  Resh Aleph Vav Beth Nun

Genesis 29:30-32: “And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah and served with him yet seven other years. (31)And when the LORD saw that Leah [was] hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel [was] barren. (32) And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now, therefore, my husband will love me.”

Many translations say that Jacob loved Rachel but hated Leah.  That is hardly the case.  I mean she had six sons and one daughter through Jacob so I am sure Jacob did not hate Leah. The word for hate is sane which, according to Rabbi Samson Hirsch a 19th Century rabbi, linguist, and Hebrew master, means to reject, to create a distance. 

I recall as a pastor a married couple came to me for counsel. I listened to a wife who shared that their husband seemed distant from her. This was the cause for great worry, fear, and pain.  She was heartbroken over that sense of distance.  I knew her husband as a good man, a good father, and a faithful husband.  Yet, the cares of this world caused him to neglect his wife.  He still loved his wife but he could not confide in her his fears and worries. He felt he had to be strong for her and his children and able to withstand any storm that life threw at him.  Yet, he was suffering greatly at work, living in fear of being laid off and worried over how he would provide for his family. He would not share his fears of the impending closure of his plant where he was employed because he did not want to cause his wife any undo fears.  Yet, the fear of losing a job, income, and trying to survive financially was not what was on the mind of his wife.  She feared losing her husband.  She wanted and longed for her husband to confide in her, to share his fears and concerns, and the fact that he would not do this created great anxiety.  

Another use of the word sane is to reject.  This is what this wife felt when her husband would not share his heart with her, she felt rejection and it hurt her deeply. He was shocked when he heard this because he thought he was protecting her from possible bad news. 

I don’t believe Jacob was being a bad husband, he was just a neglectful husband.  With two wives it would be hard to not favor one over the other and Leah would watch Jacob confide in Rachel but not with her and she was a romantic. If Leah lived today, she would probably spend her time watching the Hallmark Channel and reading Grace Livingston Hill novels. 

The Lord saw that Leah was rejected, he saw her heart as it ached to be loved and her sadness that her relationship with her husband was so distant.  So, God gave her a son.  She named the son Reuben. She named him Reuben because God saw her affliction.  The word affliction in Hebrew is ani which is a word used for being in poverty.  One can be rich materially but still be in poverty emotionally.  She had so much love and affection to give but no one to give it to, so God gave her a son, in fact, many sons to give her a release of this love and affection. However, her response was that her husband would now love her because she had a son, and when he did not show the affection and emotional intimacy that she longed she almost missed the real joy God prepared for her.

This was not any son, but Jacob’s firstborn. The future patriarch of the family. Surely, much attention would be given to this son and Jacob would have to share his heart with her now, but he just did not see the true love in his own backyard. Here this man had someone in his own backyard who loved him and longed to share her heart with him and gave him his firstborn son and the dumb ox just couldn’t see it.

Come to think of it, that may be why she named her firstborn Reuben. The word reu comes from the word ra’ah which means to see both spiritually and physically.  The word ben means son.  This is why she said, “God sees my affliction by giving me a son.”  Yet, she called him Reuben which simply means sees and son and she put together the idea that God sees her affliction. But why not call him  Reubenani and add the word affliction to his name.  She obviously did not want to curse him with something negative like an affliction.  Names reflected the desires the parents had for their children.  Hence the world would know her firstborn as the one that God sees.  But her heart would know him as the one God sent because He saw her affliction. 

Ok, maybe I am a romantic at heart, but you know what I would like to conclude from this name?  I believe God gave her a name for her firstborn, a name for the world to know that her son is one that is seen by God, but in her heart, she saw her firstborn as a reminder that when no one else, even a neglectful husband could see her hidden pain and torment from that rejection, God saw it and He did something about it. Unfortunately, Leah expected God to answer the way she wanted and that her husband would love her. She did not consider that she had a son and later five more sons and a daughter who would love her and that 3,000  years later a nation would love her.

So, for me, Reuben reminds me that when I am alone and it seems that no one in this world understands my hidden heartbreaks, sense of rejection, fear of the future, God sees it.  He may be the only one that can see it, but you know what?  That is good enough for me.  Not only that He acts upon it. It may not be what I really feel I want.  I need to be careful that I don’t pull a Leah and miss the real answer that God sends.

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