Hebrew word study – One’s Presence – pani  פני Pei Nun Yod

I Kings 19:9-10: “The Word of the Lord (came) to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?”  And he said,  I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown thine altars, and slain they prophets with the sword; and I, even I  only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”

I find it interesting that Elijah’s complaint is worded: “I have been jealous for the Lord God…” Why did he not use the pronoun you?: “I have been jealous of you.”   Being in a participial form indicates that this is what Elijah was thinking when the Word of the Lord fell upon him. He was”t initially talking to God but to himself and when the presence of God fell upon him, God entered into the conversation.  He was sitting there brooding like I do so often and have recently done when all of a sudden the power and presence of God falls upon you. It is sort of like God is saying: “Why don’t you tell it to my face or presence since I am listening in on this conversation with yourself.”

God probably also added:  “Just who do you think you are?  Do you think you are Moses sitting here on the same mountain he sat on when I passed by him?  Ok, get your keester out of this cave and I will pass by you as I did for Moses.”  Now remember God appeared to Moses in a burning bush or fire, in an earthquake with Dothan, in a windstorm on the Mt. Sinai, and indeed Elijah experienced a fire, earthquake, and windstorm, but God wasn’t there for him.  Suddenly God appeared in a still small voice and that is when Elijah covered his face with his mantle and turned away from looking at God. He went back to his cave and there was that voice again. I believed he turned away from looking at God for two reasons. It was not so much of a fear of dying but dying with shame, shame that he wanted to be like Moses or Abraham. Remember, also, that Elijah asked God to take his life.  Elijah was asking for the Divine Kiss just like Moses received when he died. He was ready to conclude his mission in life and was basically saying: “Ok, God, I am ready. Show me your face that my spirit will leave my body as it did for Aaron, Miriam, and Moses.”  The belief was that if you saw God’s face you would die.  Die is such a harsh word and believers never die, their spirit just leaves their body in such a natural way you don’t even know you passed from this earth.  Paul said in II Corinthians 12:3 And I knew such a man, (whether in the body or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth;)”  Paul took a trip to Paradise or heaven and he could not even tell if he was in the body or not, it was that subtle in passing. Physical death is so subtle for the believer that they never even realize that they suffered physical death.  Hence, I do not believe we as born-again Christians will experience death for the word death suggest something awful, terrible, and evil.  For us it is a blessed hope to finally be joined with the Father, to receive the Divine Kiss without any shame of being taken into the presence of God like Elijah.  

This is what Elijah wanted, was that Divine Kiss, to see the face of God. The word face in Hebrew is pani means one’s presence.  If we actually see the presence of God we are no longer in this body for the presence of God is something you feel you don’t see it. You can only see it in the spirit so if you see the presence of God you have already left your body.  Moses wanted to “see” the presence of God but God would not allow it.  He needed Moses on earth a while longer to complete his mission.

Elijah asked to see the presence of God, to receive the Divine Kiss but after God manifested Himself in a still small voice, Elijah knew he was special to God. He wanted God to speak to Him like Moses but then he realized he was no Moses, God had His own special way to related to Him.  The specialness, the uniqueness that he realized he had with God caused him to turn away from “seeing” God’s presence for he was now ashamed of himself for thinking he was so worthless, he was so special to God that God chose to speak to him in a special way.  He no longer wanted to die for He was too ashamed to face God.  He repented at that moment and was suddenly ready to continue his life’s journey to the completion of his mission.

There are times we need to be reminded that we are special, unique to God. He has a special mission that no one, not one of the 6 billion people on this planet can fulfill other than you alone.  I recall how during this time when I was feeling so discouraged, ready to give up writing books and blogs, longing just to see the presence of God, to receive that Divine Kiss that a little squirrel ran across the power line outside my window and stopped, looked at me and twitched his nose at me, chatted something and took off again. God spoke to me through that little mite of creation. I never heard of God using a squirrel to speak to anyone else, He might have, but I don’t know.  I know that was His special way for Him to communicate to me, to make me realize I was special in His sight. 

 God was saying to Elijah: “No you are not Moses, you are not Abraham, you are Elijah and I will speak to you in an Elijah way, I will use you for the Elijah job, not the Moses or Abraham job.”  God told Elijah, “You are not alone, there are 5,000 others who have not bowed to Baal and they also face persecution and even death.”  As I sat feeling sorry for myself I heard of the heartbreak of quiet, assuming saint of a woman who had a little service to God in her church. She prayed over that service, fasted over it and then one day was told she was no longer needed for that service and was replaced by someone more dynamic with talents she did not have. I heard God say to me: “You are not alone, they are many many others who have not bowed to the god of self-glorification, self-praise, and honor.  There are many others who have faithfully tried to serve me and had their heartbroken. You are not alone.

As I sat feeling sorry for myself, this little squirrel’s chatter, this little insignificant creation of God, this little creature that some would consider a pest, spoke to me. Rather God spoke to me through that common little rodent. For some reason, I thought of that seemingly insignificant lady, this saint of God. This woman who just wanted to be used by Gold and I thought how her heart must have been broken when her little service to God was taken away and I heard God say to me: “You are not alone, they are many many others who have not bowed to the god of self-glorification, self-praise, and honor.  There are many others who have faithfully tried to serve me and had their heartbroken. You are not alone.

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