ARAMAIC WORD STUDY – THE WEDDING DANCE – CHADOTHA חדותא  Cheth Daleth Vav Taw Aleph

Ex 20:12 . Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

School is out for the summer and I am finding a number of kids, teenagers and pre-teens riding my bus.  They are not disabled nor do they appear to be seniors, so why do they ride my bus which is designated for only the disabled and seniors? Well, designated care givers are also allowed to ride my bus and indeed that is exactly what they are. I get to see those kids that you never read about or see on the nightly news.  They are too busy caring for a disabled parent, grandparent or sibling.  Yes, siblings.  I had a little eight year old girl on my bus today with her mother and little brother who has down syndrome.  She really took charge of her little brother strapping him into a car seat sitting next to him and entertaining him on the forty five minute trip to the doctor’s office.

Yesterday I had a sixteen year old young man help his mother onto the bus.  I am not sure, I think his mother had some kind of stroke and he was helping with little things like strapping her in with her seat belt and helping her grocery shop.  He took care of carrying in all the groceries when we I brought them back.  Also, just today I had a fourteen year old girl help her mother who was walking with a cane onto the bus and then she strapped her in and took her by the arm when we got the clinic and guided her mother into the office.

You know there are passages of Scripture that are best understood not by someone with years of Bible school training and knowledge of the original languages, but by those humble and caring people who just carry out God’s laws without giving it much thought. Indeed, that little eight year old girl caring for her disabled brother  so her mother could do her necessary adult things taught me more about Exodus 20:12 than any commentary, lexicon, or classroom could teach me.

The Talmud in Kiddushin 30b teaches that: “There are three partners in man: God, his father, and his mother.  When a man honors his father and his mother, God says: ‘I consider it though I had dwelt among them and they have honored me.’”

Ever wonder why God puts the father before the mother in this commandment.  I know, we Christians say it is to show the headship and leadership of man.  Ok, I am not going to argue that point, but I do like the Jewish interpretation better.  The Talmud teaches in Kiddushin 31a that a person adores his mother more than his father, and that he fears his father more than his mother.  God therefore set the honor of one’s father first, and the fear of one’s mother first to emphasize that one must honor and fear them both equally.    I remember as a camp director for inner city young people that if I ever overheard someone say, “What you say bout my mother?”  I would start to call my counselors over for a fight was about to break out.  I never heard anyone provoke another by talking about their fathers, it was always the mother. Momma was the one who fed them, took care of them, bathed them, and made them go to Sunday School.  Momma was the important one. For whatever reason, the old man did not get top billing so when God gave the command to honor our parents, he gave the Dad first call.

We all know what it means to honor our parents. I mean this law is not only found in Mosaic law but every moral code from every society. Confucius based his whole moral system on the principle of parental authority.   Ptah-hotep, an Egyptian chronicler whose records predate that of Abraham expressed the importance of honoring one’s parents. In fact the idea of a long life accompanying the honoring of one’s parents was nothing new.  Ptah-hotep  expressed this same idea in his writings.

I don’t need to explain what it means to honor one parents, but I am going to do it anyway, because you may be surprised to learn what the Hebrew word that is used here for honor really is.  It is the word kabod, the word we usually render as glory.  It means a heaviness.  The idea of respect and honor in kabod comes from the idea of heaping praise, respect and honor on someone, weighing them down with respect.

Another way to explain it is that we give such respect to our parents that they are weighted down with the sense of responsibility to train us right.  They recognize that their children are learning from them and that they need to be an example. We often hear on the news of gifted athletes who are cut from their team because their behavior off the field is not conducive for the role model that they portray. We all know that a professional athlete is admired and respected by young boys who dream of being a professional athlete themselves.  They have such respect that they weigh that professional athlete down with the responsibility to make sure his behavior is a good example for these young impressionable people.

You see this command goes both ways.  It is the command to heap respect and honor on your parents so you weigh them down with that sense of responsibility to teach you the proper moral code. I read in People magazine all the time of celebrities who lived a wild reckless life until they had a child and then they say that they settled down as they wanted to be a good example for their children.

So what about this long life business?  I was thinking about this verse today and thought, “Well, my parents are gone so I no longer have parents here on earth, thus I am under no obligation to this commandment.  I can put this one aside and start concentrating on the other commands.

But somehow I was very much aware of every liquor store I passed, every convenience store with a generous supply of cigarettes. I also took noticed as I passed an area of town that is noted for a place where illegal drugs are passed. I thought how I often wondered if I have an addictive personality.  I really believe that if I had started to drink, smoke or use illegal drugs at an early age I would have become easily addicted.  I might never have reached the age I am at today if I had started these addictions.  I probably would have succumbed to lung cancer, or liver disease or even overdosed as a young person. But I had parents that I respected and honored.  As a result they influenced me to never drink, smoke or use illegal drugs.  My parents set the example. Even though they are gone, I am still responsible for this commandment for by not allowing these addictions into my life I am honoring my parents.

I learned my father smoked when he was in the army but gave it up after he got married as he felt it would be a bad influence on the children he would and did have. Because I honored my parents, they made sure to set the proper example for me. I weighted them down with the responsibility to be an example to me and as a result my life on this earth has been long.

I look at these young people who ride my bus and I think they are in line to have a long life for they are honoring their parents and their parents are setting the example for them.  They are weighing their parents down with love and respect and as a result those parents will teach them everything they know in how to survive in this life and because of that respect and love these young people will listen and thus navigate through life avoiding those things that could shorten it.

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