HEBREW WORD STUDY – DISILLUSIONED – BOSH  בושׁ

Psalms 25:2 “O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.”

When I see the word “ashamed” I think of being embarrassed. Yet, I find that sometimes circumstances in life get so desperate that you really can’t afford the luxury of being ashamed or embarrassed. You reach a point where that no longer matters.   

Every translation I have read renders the word bosh as ashamed. That is fine so long as we interpret ashamed as being confused or perplexed as that appears to be the basic intent of the word.  Bosh has another meaning, it is to be disappointed or disillusioned.

I believe the word disillusion is the best fit. David is not afraid of being ashamed of God nor of any failure.  What I believe his concern was, one that I also relate to is becoming disillusioned. I’ve been disillusioned many times.  I trusted God for a healing that never came, I trusted God for a job that I never got, I trusted God for speaking engagements that never materialized, I trusted God for a new computer before mine finally crashed. Well, it crashed and I am writing this on a decade old laptop that has Windows 7 and jumps around like a grasshopper when I am trying to write this. I find my prayer to be like “O my God, I trust in thee: let me not become disillusioned.”

I daresay many of you reading this if not all of you, have called out to God at some time or another with an urgent request and all you got was silence. I am not saying God does not answer prayer, I have had many prayers answered.  But there have been times that many of my prayers go unanswered. I find I am disappointed and even disillusioned.

Maybe we are reading Psalms 25:2 wrongly.  I believe what David is doing is praying in a way that we should pray.  I believe what David is praying is: “Lord, I am trusting you to deliver me from my enemies, but if you don’t right away or you don’t do it at all, please, don’t let me become bosh – discouraged and disillusioned.”  I believe David is saying that he will still love God, he will be faithful to God even if his prayer is not answered right away or even at all.

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I have spent ten years searching for the heart of God.  I cannot say that I truly know His heart.  I do have a better understanding of His heart and what I know is that His heart is filled with love and concern.  He longs to answer my every prayer and desire, but He knows things about the future and about myself that I do not know. So when He fails to answer my prayer He wants me to trust Him that He knows what is best.

During the American Civil War, you had God-fearing men and women who cried out to God for victory. There were mothers and wives who trusted God to bring their sons and husbands home. There were Godly soldiers who believed and trusted God for victory in battles.  Thousands upon thousands of God loving, God fearing, truly born again Christians who prayed to God that the South would win the war.  You also had the same in the North, trusting God for victory. However, there could be only one winner. Many of those sons and husbands died on the battlefield and the South suffered a humiliating defeat.

Yet, today we have what is known as the Bible Belt. Where is this Bible Belt? It is in the South. The land that did not see their prayers answered, the land where their enemies triumphed over them.  Yet, they did not bosh, they did not become disillusioned.  To be sure many probably did, but for the most part, the churches survived, Christianity survived in the South such that even today we have what is known as a Bible Belt.

I cannot explain why it seems prayers go unanswered. I don’t understand why God allowed my computer to crash before I could afford a new one, but you know what, I am not bosh. If from this point to the end of my time here on earth God does not answer one more prayer, I will pass from this earth still trusting and loving the God who has been my dearest friend.  For you see our relationship is not based on answered prayer, blessings or rewards, but it is based on a deep abiding love. I like to think a love as David had for God.

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